When it comes to relationships, we are greatly influenced – whether we like it or not – by those closest to us. Our way of thinking, our self-esteem and our decisions are affected.
If you are interested in up-levelling your life in all areas, you need to have people surrounding you that support, love, encourage, respect and challenge you. If you take an inventory of the relationships around you and you realise that none of them are supporting, loving, encouraging, respecting and challenging you, then you need to compartmentalise what they do for you in your life.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn
Who are those people? What are those relationships?
It doesn’t mean that you have to start telling those people what a drag they are in your life and that you can’t be around them anymore, it just means that you’ve got to love them from a distance and be so damn CLEAR on who you are and what’s a non-negotiable for you that you’re not leaving anyone behind, they are choosing to stay there. And you need to continue to move the needle forward in your life.
When you spend most of your time with people that drain you, it doesn’t feel right. When you get to spend time with people that love you, support you, challenge you and hold you accountable and lift you up, it feels amazing and you want more of that.
As you grow, not everyone can be everything for you in your life, including your spouse. When you start up-levelling your life and you get around those people that you used to connect with, and spend hours in conversation with and were everything to you, being around those people may not feel right for you now. Be grateful for what they bring to your life and how they enhance your life. But if the relationship is not enhancing your life, then you just have to let it go.
What’s helped me get clear over time is being able to identify those people and relationships by those that are there for us when we’re down, but aren’t necessarily there when we’re up OR the people that are there when we’re down AND when we’re up. Also the people that run when you’re down and then come back when you’re up. You have to realise that it’s just a reflection of what’s going on in their life and if they find your success or ability to move forward any kind of threat to them, you’re going to feel that, and it feels icky.
To be clear enough on who you are and where you’re going is so freeing to be able to identify it and move on.
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